Never Enough

Bryan is resting more peacefully today. I think we have his pain under control and we move him as little as possible.

As I sit next to him, I often think of how much I wish he had had just a little more time. There are so many things we would have said, would have done. Then I realize that it could never have been enough. He's 44 years old. Of course there are so many things that we had thought were still to come. If he had had an extra week, an extra month, an extra year, none of that would have been enough.

I have been blessed to see how many people love Bryan. I'm certain many of you wish you had had more time with him too: to say one last thing, to see him one last time. I'm here to tell you that it wouldn't have been enough.

So for now, I thank the Lord that we are a family who loves each other and who is not saddled with regret over the past. We grieve our separated future, as we look forward to the final day when we will see each other again. Value the moments you have and make them count. Miles, a friend and mentor of Bryan's, told him to evaluate life in terms of the "twenty year plan." Will it matter in twenty years? We should also look at the "eternal plan." Will it count for eternity?

Proverbs16:9

A man’s heart plans his way,
But the Lord directs his steps.